Sunday, May 11, 2025

More memory lane memories

Children can be bullies, and childhood taunts are often cruel and unkind. Here are a few I remember hearing back in the 1950s:

Fatty, Fatty, two by four,
Can't get through the kitchen door.

Here comes the bride
Short, fat, and wide.
Can't get through the church door
She'll have to stay outside.

Happy birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You stink like a monkey
And you look line one too.

That last one was particularly popular in 4th- and 5th-grade during recess.

Mrs. Rhymeswithplague (the lovely Ellie) remembers choosing team members or "It" during playground games by saying "Ink, skink, sky blue, all out but you." In my part of the world (Texas) we were more crass:

Eeny, meany, miney, moe
Catch a [n-word] by the toe
If he hollers, let him go
Eeny, meany, miney, moe

After my time, the vile n-word was replaced by 'tiger' and God was in His heaven, all was right with the world.

Not.

My theory and observation is that childhood bullies left unconfronted and uncorrected grow up to be adult bullies.

My parents taught me that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

With all due respect, I think they were wrong.

Before endinng this post I want to wish all mothers everywhere a Happy Mother's Day even if it is not Mother's Day where you are, and I also want to tell you that tomorrow, May 12th, is the 119th anniversary of my dad's birth in 1906. Unfortunately, he died in 1967.

Friday, May 9, 2025

A trip down memory lane

When I was young there was no internet, no X (formerly known as Twitter), no Instagram no Snapchat, no online shopping, no online banking, no Zelle, no Venmo, no Paypal, no electric cars, no hybrids, no bitcoin, no AI, no Apple watch, no Ring doorbell, no cell phones, no anything almost.

What there was was blood, toil, tears, and sweat. Young folk, Winston Churchill said that.

Things have changed massively in my lifetime, not necessarily for the better, even though many labor-saving (British, labour-saving) devices have been invented.

I'm so old I can remember playing with a slinky, a hula hoop, roller skates, a Viewmaster Stereoscope, and pick up stix (little girls played jacks, hopscotch, skipped rope, and pushed dolls around in small baby carriages (British, perambulators).

I can remember gasoline (petrol) costing 17.9¢ per gallon.

I'm so old I can remember when Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres were funny.

I remember Dr. Jonas Salk. I remember Betty Furness, Ish Kabibble, S&H green stamps, Kay Kyser's College Of Musical Knowledge. I remember the bouncing ball on Sing Along With Mitch. I remember Jerry Lewis's annual telethons to raise money to find a cure for muscular dystrophe. I remember Ozzie and Harriet.

I remember Roger Bannister breaking the four-minute mile barrier. I remember Mark Spitz. I remember Olga Korbut. I remember Torvill and Dean in lavender costumes dancing on ice skates to Ravel's Boléro.

I remember Roy Rogers and Trigger.

This little trip down memory lane has been provided by a person who in less than two weeks will have been married to the same woman for 62 years. They have gone by in a flash.

Life now includes aches and pains, I am old and wrinkled, and a stranger looks out at me from the mirror.

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

How to tell if you have Trump Derangement Syndrome

This is an important public service announcement regarding Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).

In a nutshell, when President Donald Trump is being serious, people with TDS think he is joking; and when he is joking, they think he is serious.

People without TDS know intuitively when President Trump is being serious and when he is joking.

Then there are the people like me who cannot tell but believe that on any particular day and any particular subject President Trump is fully capable of either joking or being serious, and possibly of doing both at the same time. His modue operandi seems to be to run it up a flagpole and see if anybody salutes it.

Here is a self-test to determine your TDS status/susceptibility:

Make Canada the 51st state (joke or serious?)
Buy Greenland (joke or serious?)
Become pope (joke or serious?)
Run for a third term (joke or serious?)
Send U.S. troops into Mexico to destroy drug cartels (joke or serious?)
Take back the Panama Canal (joke or serous?)

If you haven't been paying attention or if you live in another part of the world, these are all topics that have been floated in the first 100 days of what is being called the Trump 2.0 administration. FYI, only 1,361 days remain in the Trump 2.0 administration, including the Leap Day in 2028.

Let the celebrating begin.

Sunday, May 4, 2025

It’s Star Wars Day

May the fourth be with you.

Not original with me, of course, but I couldn't resist the urge to say it.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Potpourri #17,643

Today I heard a man on television speaking about deportees say "approximately about 576 people"; a couple of minutes later he said "about 1,154 people" and I felt myself turning into my old high-school English teacher, Mr. D. P. Morris. First of all, the phrase "approximately about" is redundant and should never be used. Say one or the other, but not both. In addition, please don't use the qualifiers except with a non-specific, inexact figure. It is okay in the examples I cited to say "approximately 600" and "about 1,150" but neither "approximate" nor "anout" is appropriate with such specific numbers as 576 or 1,154. It's too bad the man on television couldnt't hear me. He might have learned something. I'm just saying.

Speaking properly used to be the mark of an educated person but those days have gone with the wind. Swearing in public used to be the mark of an uncouth lout but nowadays even our elected representatives in suits and ties do it without a second thought. Interesting. Sad, but interesting.

Someone has said that the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. I guess the ability to grow a beard and having the urge to, um, procreate are of no consequence.

On another newscast today a woman said, and I quote, "In 2023 California's budget deficit was $32 billion dollars. In 2024 it doubled to $46 billion dollars." I found myself yelling at the television screen that 32 doubled is 64, not 46. Did the printed copy she was reading contain a typo that she read faithfully without thinking about it or was the copy correct and the reader was dyslexic? We'll never know because the reader didn't correct herself and no one else on the set asked a question or made a comment about the discrepancy.

Today is May 1st, which I just learned is the mid-point between the vernal equinox and the summer solstice. There are three other such mid-points during the year: between the summer solstice and the autumnal equinox, between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice, and between the winter solstice and the vernal equinox. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to learn the dates on which these mid-points fall and report the information in a comment.

This post will self-destruct in five seconds.

I'm kidding, but didn't it make you think of Mission Impossible?

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Two negatives make a positive

That's what I was taught back in the Dark Ages. The word "ain't" was verboten. However, with the continued decline in Anerica's education system and the general dumbing down of the American public over the last several decades, more and more the English language is spoken and written improperly, or if that is too strong a word, without regard for rules.

Instead of saying, "He and I are friends" people will say, "Me and him are friends" (that is, they use objective case when nominative case is called for).

Instead of saying, "The big dog chased her and me down the road" people will say "The big dog chasd she and I down the road" (that is, they use nominative case when objective case is called for).

People who should know better say "ain't" instead of "am not" or "isn't" or "aren't". Grammar teachers shudder.

Double negatives are everywhere, invading even gospel music. Here are four examples that make me cringe:

1. "Ain't No Grave Gonna Hold My Body Down"
2. "I Wouldn't Take Nothin' For My Journey Now"
3. In the song "Rise Again" one line says "ain't no power on earth can tie me down"
4. "He Ain't Never Done Me Nothin' But Good"

To give secular music its due, "Ain't misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you" goes back generations. George Gershwin put "It ain't necessarily so" into Porgy And Bess.

Some people just don't know better, their schooling having gone in one ear and out the other. Some people know better but just don't care. And neither do they care, apparently, how they might be viewed by others or how unlikely they are to advance in their careers.

Am I being a snob? I hope not. I don't want to be. We strive to be a classless society in the United States, where everyone is equal in the eyes of the law. Nobody should have anything to prove. But maybe one of this country's greatest assets has produced an unfortunate effect. I suppose it depends on how you look at it. Telescopes and microscopes are both very useful for seeing, but they look at different things.

On the other hand, the New Testament was not written in classical Greek but in koine Greek, the common language of the streets. Also, St.Jerome's updating of an earlier Latin version of the Bible became known as the Vulgate because he used the most common dialect among the people.

Is it important or unimportant? A linguistic scandal or much ado about nothing as long as a person can be understood? One wonders. Let me know in a comment what you think.

Sunday, April 20, 2025

Krishti u ngjall! Vërtetë u ngjall!

(This post has appeared on this blog twice previously, first on April 12, 2009, and again on April 5, 2015.)

The title of this post is in old-style Albanian, the language my wife’s parents spoke.

Every year, on a certain day, when Mom and Pop were still alive, we would call them in Florida or they would call us in Nebraska or New York or Florida or Georgia (we moved a lot) and whichever party said “Hello?” heard the words, “Krishti u ngjall!”

The response was always immediate from the other person: “Vërtetë u ngjall!”

Phonetically, it sounded something like this:

KRISH-tee oong-ee-AHL! vair-TET oong-ee-AHL!

What a strange thing to do, you might be thinking.

Not at all. If you’re curious what those strange phrases might mean, here is an English translation: Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!

The day, of course, was Easter Sunday -- Resurrection Day -- and we were simply doing what Christians have been doing in various places and in various languages for two thousand years.

After Pop died in 1983 and Mom died in 1986, we continued the traditional Albanian Easter greeting with Mrs RWP’s aunt in North Carolina. Now she is gone, too. There is nobody left in the family to speak Albanian to.

So, very early this morning, as the day was beginning to dawn, I said to Mrs. RWP, “Krishti u ngjall!” and she replied, “Vërtetë u ngjall!” Some traditions are worth preserving.

This was not only an Easter greeting, it was something like the communion of the saints, I think. Some of them on earth, and some of them in Heaven. But all in agreement.

In many places around the world, in many languages, many people said these words today. We said them at our own church (Pentecostal, not Albanian Orthodox) this morning. The pastor said, “Christ is risen!” and the entire congregation replied, “He is risen indeed!” The pastor said it three times, and after the third response, spontaneous applause broke out in the choir and among the congregation.

As I said, the communion of the saints.

This afternoon I found on the Internet a photograph of the interior of Saints Peter and Paul Albanian Orthodox Church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the church Mrs. RWP attended as a child with her mother, father, and brother. It was the first time my wife had seen this church since 1946. The church is decorated in the photograph, not for Easter, but for another Christian holiday.

Christmas. You may have heard of it.


I thought it would be interesting to post the comments from 2009 and 2015 as well. Here are the ones from 2009:

13 comments:

Reamus said...

We should all keep such traditions alive, Mr. RWP, thank you for sharing a fine post.

April 12, 2009 at 11:32 PM

Pat - Arkansas said...

Alleluia! Alleluia!

April 13, 2009 at 9:52 AM

bARE-eYED sUN said...

beutiful tradition, sentiment and photo. :-)

thank you

April 14, 2009 at 2:10 AM

Jeannelle said...

Oh, Rhymsie, this is a wonderful post! What a treasure to know those ancient Easter words in a unique language! Yes, keep the tradition alive of speaking them.

I woke up too early and decided to change my blogpost to publish on April 15, but after seeing the CHRISTMAS photo on your post, I'm leaving it for today, the 14th.

A belated Merry Easter to you!

April 14, 2009 at 5:25 AM

Egghead said...

What a beautiful gift you gave your wife. That is the sweetest thing I have heard in a long time.

April 15, 2009 at 6:28 PM

rhymeswithplague said...

Thank you to everyone who commented:

Reamus - This tradition will probably end in our family with the two of us. Our children don't speak Albanian, let alone their spouses. Perhaps we can teach the grandchildren, though.

Pat - Arkansas - So you liked it then....

bARE-eYED sUN - Welcome, first-timer! I'm glad you enjoyed the post. Come back often.

Jeannelle - And an even more belated Merry Easter to you!

Egghead (Vonda) - We've been doing this every Easter for 46 years now.

April 15, 2009 at 10:01 PM

Anonymous said...

Krishti u ngjall!

April 19, 2009 at 5:32 PM

A Lady's Life said...

Very beautiful church.

April 21, 2009 at 7:23 PM

RachelS. said...

Dua kishën aq shumë! se foto e kishës është e bukur! Unë jam shqiptare si ju!Kristi Ngjall!

April 14, 2012 at 8:00 PM

rhymeswithplague said...

A Lady's Life, I think so too!

RachelS., thanks for commenting! I used translate.google.com to learn that you said, "I love church so much! that picture of the church is beautiful! I am Albanian like you! Kristi Risen!"

April 14, 2012 at 10:10 PM

Qafzez said...

Krishti u ngjall! Albanian American from Philadelphia and I attend this beautiful Church. I don't speak much Albanian either but we are Albanian Orthodox and its in our soul. Important to pass these traditions on to future generations. Come visit!

May 5, 2013 at 7:24 AM

rhymeswithplague said...

Welcome, Qafzez, to this little corner of Blogworld. Ask some of the very oldest people in your church if they remember Jim and Carrie Cudse (Dhimitri and Ksanthipi Kuci) or Nelson and Christine Pitchi. The names of the children in the two families were Mike, Eleanor, Nancy, and Johnny. These were Mrs. RWP's parents and uncle and aunt. They all moved to North Carolina around 1946.

May 5, 2013 at 8:29 AM

Klahanie said...

What a wonderful, thoughtful tradition to be upheld.

I sense the ambience.

Thank you, my kind friend.

Gary

April 7, 2015 at 10:50 PM

...and here are the comments from 2015:

4 comments:

All Consuming said...


A lovely tradition indeed, and educational for me as well. Do teach the Grandchildren yes! ? And does Mrs RWP speak Albanian too? Or have you said that and I missed it, (brain being slow as it is at present).

April 5, 2015 at 1:54 PM

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Like other Christian festivals or special days, Easter has its origins in pagan history. Oestre was a goddess of the springtime and of hope for the future. (RWP cage now rattled. The beast within growls. Grrrr!)

April 6, 2015 at 6:41 AM

rhymeswithplague said...

All Consuming (Michelle), Mrs. RWP understands spoken Albanian but never learned to speak it (or read it or write it) herself. She and her mom would have the most unusual bilingual conversations, her mom in Albanian and Mrs. RWP in English. It was strange to behold. I have managed to learn a little bit on my own. For example, Mirë mëngjes (Good morning), Unë të dua (I love you), and of course, Krishti u ngjall! Vërtetë u ngjall! (Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!)....

Yorkshire Pudding (Neil), au contraire! I regret to inform you that the beast within is not growling and the RWP cage has not been rattled. Of course Oestre was a goddess of springtime and there is also Ishtar and Astarte and Ashtoreth (some of them are even fertility goddesses). My post was not about them. We didn't wish one another a "Happy Easter"...my post is about the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, not green grass or baby chicks or bunny rabbits. I cannot explain Jesus any more than someone in the dark can explain a flashlight. The Old Testament prophet Isaiah said 700 years before Christ, "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. " And that much, as pertains to me at least, is true.

April 6, 2015 at 9:27 AM

Hilltophomesteader said...

Well said, Mr. RWP. My prayer is that all in the darkness will see the light. Sorry to be late, but He is, indeed, Risen, and I am glad.

April 7, 2015 at 1:02 AM

<b>More memory lane memories </b>

Children can be bullies, and childhood taunts are often cruel and unkind. Here are a few I remember hearing back in the 1950s: Fat...